Just reflecting today on how it will feel being on the downward spiral to 40 (sorry 40 somethings...I'm sure it's not as bad as I imagine). I think I'm not looking forward to it because when I imagine 40, I picture having my stuff together, ya know? Like, I should be who and what I want to be by then. I had no expectations for 30. I still very much felt like I was still learning (am still learning). But 40? I'm expecting a lot of myself.
Here are my expectations for "40-"
~Happy, healthy, vibrant marriage to my #1 guy
~To have a wonderful and growing relationship with my beautiful, healthy, well adjusted, 7 year old daughter
~To continue to be a stay-at-home mom
~To myself be at optimum health, mentally, physically and spiritually
~To have a healthy 6 figure residual income with my business
~To be a leader in my company and in this industry
~To be debt free...including our home paid for
~To be able to take care of my parents
~To be able to travel anywhere in the world whenever I want
~To have brought my husband home to work on things that interest him instead of working for the interests of others
~To be the biggest giver I know
~To have recorded an album of Christian music and be performing regularly
So 40, I hope you're ready! That's a tall order I know, but 'cha got 5 years to get it together!
My daughter calls this a "mountain." She's pretty observant for a 2 year old!
It was the clothes pile in my laundry room that I was intent on conquering back in April. Well, it didn't happen that day like I planned...or the next or the next. No, I JUST tackled it and got it finished today, November 6th, 2010 and it took me 6 HOURS!!! The batteries in my camera are dead or I would show you a pick of the clean room. But you can just imagine it for now. It looks nice!
I've been reading some articles lately on the dangers of holding a lot of fat in your midsection. Did you know that if a person has a lot of belly fat, that they are more suseptable to heart disease, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes? And that people who hold more of their fat in their hips, thighs and legs are not? The reason I'm interested in this is because I am that "apple shape," not the "pear shape." I hold a lot of fat in my abdominal area and it worries me that I may be more at risk for a heart attack sooner than later! That's scary...I have a 2 year old daughter who needs her mama around. So, if something happens to me, and she grows up without a mother, it will be my own fault. That is a VERY sobering thought because she deserves to have her mother, who loves her more than anyone else in the world. So, that's been on my mind the past few days and I've been thinking and praying about a way to zap that belly fat.
I've also read a lot of articles that say that a diet higher in protein and lower in carbohydrates is what eliminates belly fat. I guess you could call it a "diabetic diet." Doctors ask diabetics to eat this way. My own doctor asked me to eat this way. I'm not diabetic (yet), but he told me that it was a very healthy way to eat, and that he prefer I eat high protein, low carb as opposed to go on medication. He told me to get the book, "Protein Power" and read up on the science behind eating low carb, high protein. So, I did. I'm not going to go into all of that here, because I just don't feel like writing all that out! LOL But the gist is, your body's energy comes from 1 of 2 places, from carbohydrates or from your fat stores. If you are eliminating a great deal of carbohydrates from your diet, and eating mostly protein, your body is forced to pull upon those fat stores (your belly fat) and burn that for energy. That is called, "ketosis." It has nothing to do with calories, and all about how many grams a day you are consuming in carbs, vs. proteins. I've tried this diet many times before and have really lost weight with it...usually a pound a day! But I've always looked at it as a diet, and not a lifestyle. Then of course, add back the sugar and the bread and the junk and gain it all back. The trick is to keep adding back carbs gradually until you stop seeing weight loss, but are not gaining weight, and this is your measuring stick. This usually varies from around 40-60 grams of carbohydrates a day.
So, I am now more interested in making this pretty much the way I eat. It's healthful in that you are consuming more fresh, non starchy vegetables, less sugars, whole wheat pastas and breads, lean meats (I don't get into the whole, "you can eat all the bacon you want and not get fat!" stuff), beans and nuts and and fresh, low sugar fruits such as berries and melons. Sounds pretty healthy to me!
I have been reading the book, "Atkins for Life" and it gives great guidelines and instructions on how to make this a lifestyle and not just a quick diet. Of course you start off on a really strict, 20 grams of carbs a day, but you are supposed to gradually increase that intake as you keep losing. When you've lost all the weight you want, then you go into maintenance mode where you just eat the amount of carbs your body requires before you start gaining weight. And if you do gain weight, you just back off again. Seems pretty easy to me!
"Atkins for Life" also encourages cardiovascular exercise and resistance training. I need both of these for heart health, and to help me look more toned. There's nothing I dread more than losing weight and having a lot of flab hanging around! GROSS! So weight training is essential I think!
Ok, so this is day one for me. I'm doing great so far. Not feeling hungry or sluggish or like my brain is in a fog (like I've felt in the past). I'm feeling pretty good!
I'll keep you posted on my efforts!!!!
(p.s. I don't feel like rereading this for errors (I've been battling some sort of horrible flu or cold for about a week), so if there are grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and my poor typing and spelling skills! LOL)
If that doesn't make a person want to get off their "bootay" and take care of some unfinished business, I don't know what will? Time flies doesn't it?
My brain scrambles to think of all the loose ends I need to tie up, goals I need accomplish and promises (to myself) I need to strive to keep. Most of which being the goals that are listed to the right of this post! I can say that I have a strong handle on several of them and that I feel really good about that! But some of them are still as lost a cause as they ever were! And after all these months, I can't deny that that makes me a little sad and disappointed in myself.
Here's a personal assessment and a breakdown of how I'm progressing with my goals on a 1-10 scale....
~Get (and keep) my house in order- 3 I'm still not doing great at this. This has to be the one I'm most disappointed in myself for not improving upon. I see taking care of my home as my one and only responsibility and I'm failing miserably. If I were my boss, I'd fire me!
~Lose weight-5 Some change here. I'm more conscious of what I'm doing, but not necessarily making a lot of effort to change old habits. So a 5 for this one...only giving half of an effort. ~Get in shape-2 Not following through on any exercise goals. I just seriously HATE it with all my being and find it EXTREMELY hard to get up and do it. I signed up for a 5K and could have been training now for like 4 weeks. But have I even stepped outside to at least start? NOPE! But because I try to keep my word (at least to other people) I will do the 5K even if I have to walk the whole way!
~Require more of myself (personal hygiene and appearance)-8 I have REALLY improved on this a great deal. A lot of it has to do with actually having someplace to go during the week and needing to not look like "death warmed over." But when I wrote out these goals like 10 months ago, I was only out of the house one day a week for my bible study group. But now, I'm out of the house 3 times a week for my Bible study, my networking group, and as a leader in my MOPS group. Because I'm more involved in business now, I try to keep my nails looking nice (people notice that kind of stuff!), and try to look nice when I go out because I never know who I'll run into...and I don't want them seeing me as a sad sahmbie, but as an active professional. So YAY! I've really improved on this one ya'll!
~Develop a better spiritual life-6 I'm doing ok here. I am reading a lot of books (though not consistently) and still find myself praying throughout the day. But the desire I've always had (since like, high school) to set aside time JUST for Jesus...I haven't gotten there yet. But I really want to, more than anything! I know that this is the piece of the puzzle that will make all the others fit. ~Pursue my own desires and dreams more fervently-8 Starting my business on January 25th of this year has been a serious life saver for me. Not only does it really focus on a lot of personal development and being the best you you can be, but it's all about giving to others as well. Those two things have seriously improved my view of myself. Because when you give, you get back. I get so much joy from sending cards to people and exposing them to SendOutCards. And like the Bible says, "...it is better to give than to receive!" I have also learned a lot of business and networking skills, have made new friends, am starting to view myself as more of a professional, and am proud of the fact that I am not giving up on this. I'm building something for my family and our future quitting is not an option! And I don't want to quit...I'm having too much fun! I guess this has just given me the little shove I needed to just get out there...out of sahmbiedom!
So there you go...
81 Days 1951 Hours, & 117089 Minutes
...to get this done. Being a classic "wait til the last minute" kind of person. I can see myself trying to pull this out at the 11th hour. But real, deep rooted change doesn't work that way, and I know it. Change happens when you do something one day, and then the next day, and then the next day and so on until it just becomes part of your life. 81 days is plenty of time to develop some new habits...so I best get on it! I'll keep ya posted.....
Well, I'm happy to report that I'm down about 5 lbs. So YAY! Gonna keep up working the "One Day Way."
Also, the past 2 weeks I've been in a funk. I've been sleeping a lot and just not wanting to do anything. But after spending all day yesterday cleaning and straightening up the house (something I had been avoiding for weeks), I was more eager to jump out of bed this morning and looked forward to seeing my clean kitchen.
I feel like I'm taking the scenic route on this journey, but I swear I'm learning a new lesson practically every day! Who knows, this blog may go on past January one! ha!
So my prayer this morning...not at 6:3o like I had planned, but more like 7 (I can live with that), was that God would just help me be aware today. That I would be mindful of my goal for the day and not forget that I was actually trying to eat right and exercise. Quite honestly, sometimes, because these bad habits are just so ingrained in my everyday life, I just don't remember to do things differently. So, like I said, my first goal was to remember. And God answered my prayer during my first test this morning.
I had made myself a nice breakfast BEFORE I left the house for my Bible study at 9. I even made an icy cold water bottle for myself before I left so I wouldn't be tempted to make a Sonic drink run on the way! Yes, I was mindful! YAY! But when I got to the house where we have our Bible study (Heather's house), I was faced with a scrumptious looking breakfast that Heather, the Queen of hospitality, had prepared for us. There was breakfast casserole, muffins, cinnamon rolls and coffee with yummy creamers. AHHH!!!! Now, last time I had purposed to eat right on a Monday, I showed up at her house and started mindlessly shoveling in all her yummy goodies (her cooking is hard to resist!) and right in the middle of some monkey bread realized what I had done! I felt like Homer Simpson...DOH!
But not this time. I was mindful (and resentful) and made it through the whole time without even having one bite of that breakfast (as much as I wanted to). I just sipped my water and looked forward to lunch. I was glad that I had eaten a good breakfast before or Heather's breakfast would have been too much to reisist! LOL
So it was a good day. I ate well under 1500 calories and walked a few times around the block (if you want to see my meals for the day, click here). Right now at 9:32 pm I'm not hungry, but would normally be rummaging through the cabinets for a little something sweet. I'm going to resist the temptation to go to the cabinet and grab one of those oatmeal creme pies I was eyeing earlier because I'm feeling really good about what I've done today. Like Chantel says in Never Say Diet, (and I'm paraphrasing) "....if you cheat and overeat, that's one more day you have to be fat." And she's so right. So, this day I'm choosing to do something about it.
Me singing the National Anthem at the Tennessee Smokies baseball game a couple of weeks ago. Weight: 280lbs.
Ok, so the end of August is closing in...I mean, AUGUST! Can you believe it is almost September? I can't! I'm absolutely floored that fall is upon us. If you remember, the goal of this blog was to wrangle myself into some good habits by January one, and January one will be here in 132 days!
AHHH!
In some aspects, yes, I have managed to develop some good habits and have made some MAJOR changes in my life for the better. But on the weight loss front...uh, it hasn't been a very good run to say the least!
I'm still not exercising, still not changing any of my eating habits and have certainly NOT been making an effort to do so either. I've been claiming that I just need, baby steps. But d'ya know what? The time for baby steps is over! It's time to HIT IT HARD, GO FULL THROTTLE, TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS, LAY THE RUBBER TO THE ROAD, PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL!
Now THAT gets me pumped up!
The thought of waking up tomorrow and going full force is way more exciting that just saying, "Well, today I'm going to try my best not to drink any soda. That will be a good start. And I may try to walk around the block....baby steps you know." Ugh! (eyes roll) What gets me going is saying, "Tomorrow I'm going to wake up at 6am and walk one mile, maybe two, come in, do some ab work and lift some weights, eat a low-cal, protein filled breakfast, get a shower, get dressed, drink water with lemon and go on with all of my other mommy/ housekeeping/ wifely duties for the day being very careful not to overeat and snack." Now that is a goal! And quite honestly guys, it's all I have time for at this point. I've wasted too much of the year to do any less. I have to "JUST DO IT!"
But I'm keeping in mind what Chantel Hobbs says in her book "The One Day Way." She says, "One day is all the time you need to lose all the weight you want!" The whole idea of the book is to focus on the day at hand. Meet your goals (whatever they may be) for that day and that day alone. Don't look at the mistakes of yesterday, don't worry about meeting lofty goals in the future, just focus on today. And that's the approach I'm going to take. Now, there's nothing wrong with having some goals. Goals keep us on track and give us something to look forward to. If I'm going to be honest with ya'll, I must admit that I'm not very good with achieving weight loss goals (duh). But I want to more than I've ever wanted anything. I feel like if I can come out a winner in this, I can succeed at anything! This is by and large THE issue of my adult life; discipline, self-control and resisting my stubborn will. I feel like if I can master those areas, there's no stopping me! And it just takes one day...and another day...and another day. I love that concept!!!!
Awesome book! READ IT!
So, here are the cold hard facts ya'll. I'll be 35 in November. Yes, I said it...35! It will be a personal failure for me to hit this number and not have made some progress. My ideal would be to be in a size 18 before that day (November 25th). I have just 95 days! Just to give you an idea (although you may be confused like me), I tried on some jeans today and um...various sizes seemed to fit. First, I put on a pair of 22s and they were a little snug, but zipped up ok. I could probably lose 5 lbs and they would fit nicely. But then I tried on a pair of 26s! And they fit like a glove! Yeah...I was confused too! I didn't even know I had a pair of 26s in my closet! Now, these jeans are different brands, so that may be part of the problem. The jeans that I wear every day are those weird Lane Bryant jeans that are sized by colors and numbers. I'm wearing a Yellow 4 and they absolutely FALL OFF! I have to wear a belt with them. If I were to lose ten lbs, they'd be WAY too big. So I guess I should just settle somewhere in the middle, on a standard size and say that right now, I'm wearing a 22-24 (which is what most of my dress pants are) and leave it at that. So, getting down to a size 18 in 95 days is reasonable, right? I think so. I haven't been an 18 since like the year 1998, 12 years ago! It'd be awesome to shop on regular racks and buy a nice outfit for my birthday in a size out of the 20's! And guys...baby steps aint gonna cut it! I've got to make some decisions about what I want and how I'm going to get it, and for heaven's sake, FOLLOW THROUGH! One day at a time.
So, tomorrow my plan is to do just what I said above. Get up early, walk a half mile to a mile, come in, do some work with my 5 lb. hand weights, do some ab work, eat a good, healthy breakfast, shower, get dressed, plan out healthy meals for lunch and dinner, and get on with my day with pride.
Hey guys! I'm still here! I haven't even been on this blog in over a month and was sad to find that my cute pink and black blog template from "The Cutest Blog on the Block" had disappeared. SAD! I just do not feel like, nor do I have the energy to design another, so the plain template will just have to do for a while. Oh well....
So on to an update for you. I'm down about 5 lbs and have remained there pretty effortlessly for many weeks now. Again, not sure what I've done differently, but I'm not complaining. My sweet dad came for a visit this weekend and FINALLY hooked up the ice maker and water dispenser on my side by side fridge! Just having ice and cold water has been so nice and has encouraged me to drink MORE of it! That's got to be a good thing and will definitely contribute to my weight loss efforts.
My business, SendOutCards is saving my life in so many ways! I really just need to do a whole blog post on just how, but the best and most fulfilling reason is that I never knew how much sending cards and actually giving of myself on a daily basis would do for my sense of self worth ("...for it is better to give than to receive."). I believe that it's incredibly important that if someone comes to my mind, that it's a real tragedy if I don't reach out to them. I've always believed this, but now that I have this card sending system it's just too easy not to follow through with those promptings. And if ya'll know anything about me from reading this blog, following through is one of my struggles. I can't put into adequate words how it feels to be able to follow through 98% of the time! It feels INCREDIBLE!!!! Not only do I feel good, but I'm BUSY. That in and of itself has been a blessing. I've made it a goal to meet new people (I am a networker after all). This of course gets me out of the house and gives me a reason to shower, dress, put on some make-up, do my hair, etc. I've also joined a networking group. The president of the group really went out of his way to help me connect with a stay at home mom who agreed to watch my daughter for an hour and half every Tuesday morning so that I could attend. So, this has been REALLY fun! I get to talk to adults and be professional...something this sahmbie has missed quite a bit.
So guys, I'm feeling pretty positive and things are looking up!
So on to the title of this post....
Mine and my hubby's 15 year anniversary is in 16 months and 14 days! (wow, time flies!) My dream would be to spend that milestone anniversary in Hawaii! Doesn't that sound amazing?! It would be a big deal for us and seems like a pretty lofty goal.
#1. It's a VERY expensive trip! An extavagance that a family living on one modest income doesn't usually think about indulging in. But I figure that surely we could save up a couple thousand dollars in 16 months. There are always deals out there, my job would be to just keep an eye out for them in the meantime.
#2. I just WILL NOT show up in Hawaii at 280 lbs! I want to be able to enjoy myself in paradise without constantly tugging at my large, 3x shirt feeling like a big ol' whale and being self conscious the whole time! I've spent too many great vacations on beautiful beaches feeling miserable. So sad and such a waste. So, I was thinking that if the trip would be in 16 months, it would give me plenty of time to get in shape and beach ready....the right way! One of my big fears is losing a lot of weight really fast and then having all that sagging skin. If it took me the whole 16 months, surely I would avoid that...right? Have any of you ever lost weight over a long period of time? In what condition was your skin after you reached your goal? Do you have any advice for keeping it taught? It's something I've always wondered about. With that said, I know weight lifting will be important to build up my muscles so that the skin won't sag quite as much (this kind of grosses me out to talk about). Anyway...just trying to read up right now on a good exercise and diet plan for slow, long term weight loss. Still, my favorite story (and an example of a GREAT BOD after slow weight loss) is Chantel Hobb's Never Say Diet. I encourage everyone I talk to to read it! I may just have to go back and reread it myself! I mean, I DO want to look hot in a bathing suit. But you know, it's been so long that even saying that seems so OUT THERE! But I have to believe it's possible.
INSPIRATION!
Teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini! Only in my dreams...but who knows?
First of all let me say that I HATE to blog about this stuff. My heart's desire is soooo to be positive and a light for you, but today I just can't be that and I really hate admitting it to you. I want to give you good news, that I'm doing GREAT and that I'm steadily crawling out of sahmbiedom, but I can't report that today because it would be a lie. But here's the truth no less.
I had a really rough day mentally. I don't think I've been as depressed as I was today in many years. I felt so bad in fact, that I literally felt physically ill...nauseated, ready to throw up.
A lot of stuff just hit me at once, ya know? It just sort of dawned on me today, 9 months later, that I have moved to a completely different state, to a new town, am in a new church with new people, that I don't have a lot of friends where I can just pop over to their house anytime I feel like it (which I used to do all the time), that I have a husband who is gone a lot for work and that I feel quite alone. I looked in the mirror and still saw a haggard, sloppy, fat woman staring back at me which just made me want to break it! It also hit me that I'm never able to "catch up" on housework. You guys know how I struggle with this anyway. So, when your two year old goes right behind your freshly picked up, clean house (which took all the strength you could muster just to accomplish in the first place), like the dang Tazmanian Devil, just because it's fun, man, it really wears on ya! It's like, what's the freaking point?!
I don't know why, but I just felt so hopeless today. I have felt bad in the past, but never quite like this...this was different and scary. I don't like feeling depressed. It's debilitating. You feel stuck, like you can't move...like you don't want to move. Like moving would be the worst thing that you could do. But God, you soooo want to MOVE! You want to DO, you want to GET UP. But it's almost like you physically can't. And for that reason, you beat yourself up and start hating on yourself because something is totally wrong with you. That you're lazy, disgusting, unworthy, helpless, pitiful, a waste of space. See, I told you it was scary. But this is what I was feeling today. Real can be ugly sometimes, ya know?
So I decided to go for a drive (what I do when I need to think). This was probably not a good idea given my state of mind because I had my baby with me. But I wasn't out to drive crazy or be erratic, I just wanted to get out of my messy, cluttered house and clear up my messy, cluttered brain!
I cried and drove and drove and cried. I didn't feel like listening to any music or singing, but I decided to try it anyway. I was invited to sing in a couple of weeks at a church in Knoxville, so I put in the songs that I would be doing to get in some practice. And as I started singing...through the tears...low and behold, I started to feel better! I know there's a scripture that somehow backs that up, but I can't recall it. But singing made me feel mentally and physically better! I don't know if I've talked about it much here, but I AM a singer and singing is my one true passion. I could sing all day every day. But lately, I haven't been singing at all...not even in the car. I miss it. But it was good that my old friend brought me back today.
When I got home, I still felt icky, but had a little more energy and decided to take the baby out for a swim. I laughed and played with her which felt good. Then I came in, made a great dinner, straightened up all the clutter, swept the floor, did the dishes and put her to bed.
It's amazing to me...how I went from pretty much feeling worthless and not wanting to get up off the couch to having the energy to do all that. And that simply "singing" was the medicine.
But please do say a prayer for me. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Thank you my dear blog friends.
And thank you God for always providing a way of escape for us. Today, mine just happened to be out of my own mouth!
I'm not anywhere near where I want to be, but I'm taking baby steps...and this is a step in the right direction!
I've been tinkering with this “Daily Schedule” for a while now by actually living it out and seeing how it works and I’m liking it pretty well. So, I thought I would share it with you. Keep in mind that when you have a home-based buisness, you do not work the standard Mon-Fri, 8-5 model, so work in my business is more some days and less others, but the key is a consistent effort. So you will see that I schedule in time, but there could be more or less on any given day. And it goes without saying that when you have a toddler, ANYTHING can happen that we DON’T plan for, so I’m prepared for those days as well.
Daily Schedule, Monday-Friday
6:30-7:30- Make some tea or coffee, gather Bible, books, note pad, etc. and head out to the swing outside or out on the sun porch for time with Jesus. This is the foundation for my whole day…without it, nothing seems to go right. I’m trying to do this everyday, but must admit that it’s a struggle even though I LOVE this time with the Lord.
7:30-8:30- Baby up. Change and dress for the day. Also, hugs, kisses, songs and play time for a few minutes before we head through the house. GG watches a show while I get breakfast ready and start a load of laundry.
8:30-9:30- Eat breakfast, clear dishes and wipe down table (and child). While GG watches a show, I empty the dishwasher from the night before, start loading it up with the new day’s dishes. Lay out something for dinner. Wipe off counters and sweep floor. Put clothes into the dryer. After all that is done, then check email and social networking sites.
10:00-11:00- Change diaper, then take GG outside to play…bubbles, sidewalk chalk, slide, running around, etc. While outside, I can do a little maintenance in our flower beds and with the pool.
11:00-11:30- Come in, cool down, wash hands, get a drink, etc. GG watches a show while I get lunch ready and fold the laundry and put away.
11:30-12:00- Eat lunch, clean up, load those dishes in the dishwasher. GG and I pick up toys around the house in a tote and put them away in her room. Change GG’s diaper and put her down for a nap.
12:00-2:30- GG can take anywhere from a 90 minute nap to a 2 hour nap, so this time is very flexible. In fact, this entire schedule is flexible. With a 2 year old, it has to be. While GG naps, it’s work time for mommy. This is the time when I get on the computer, work on my site, make phone calls and do Gift Account Walkthroughs (called a GAW. If you want to send a free greeting card and have a gift account, email me). I also use this time to read positive books and work on personal development, usually outside in the sun.
2:30-4:00- GG up! Change her diaper and make her a heavy snack and something to drink. If we’re not outside swimming, then this is usually the time when I go and do errands, take GG to the library, Chik Fil-A playplace etc. to get out of the house.
4:00-5:00- Mommy TV time. I almost always watch Oprah at this time. But if it’s something really stupid, then I just piddle around the house.
5:00-6:00- Work on dinner and prepare for daddy to get home. GG and I pick up toys that are all over the floor before daddy’s arrival. It makes a difference in his day when he comes home to a clean house.
6:00-7:00- Because my husband’s work schedule is erratic at best, our dinner is never at a “set time.” But ideally, I like to eat between 6 and 7. This time again, is flexible.
7:00-7:30- Bathtime. Daddy usually gives G a bath and gets her ready for bed while I put away all the dinner stuff and load the dishwasher for the last time and turn it on. It will be unloaded in the morning.
7:30-8:00- Family time. Read a book, play, snuggle on the couch, whatever.
8:00-8:30- Mommy exercise time. Take a walk, do a video, ride stationary bike, whatever.
8:30-9:30- Do a little more site work, team trainings, GAWs, reading…work related activities.
9:30-11:00- Time with hubby. Watch tv, hop in the hot tub…just chill.
11:00 Shower, get ready for bed, watch the news. Hopefully in bed by 11:30.
NOTE: On Monday mornings I have my women’s bible study group from about 9-12. So this whole schedule is a wash on that day. We just sort of do what we want on Mondays.
Also, Thursdays are house cleaning days, which means, bathrooms, windows, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc. So, the schedule is revised a bit to allow time for that as well.
The weekends are free. Daddy is home and we just chill and enjoy each other. Again, if I feel like working, then I will, but it’s not required (the beauty of owning your own business).
Lately the verse from Matthew 6:33..."But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" has been replaying over and over in my mind, which leads me to believe that the Lord is trying to tell me something. Ya think?
So, I've been getting up a little earlier so that I can spend some uninterrupted time with Jesus in the mornings. And I'm really loving it! I absolutely HATE getting up early, but these times with Him have been so sweet that I actually look forward to it! I sing to him, I read the Word, I pray, I talk to Him and just, "hang out."
And the miraculous thing is ya'll, when I come in from this time with God, I am totally PUMPED! I start cleaning, I feel like exercising, I want to eat a good breakfast.,,it's like I immediately start putting order to my day.
You'd think that if I feel this good spending time with the Lord in the mornings that it would be easy to just hop out of bed singing at 6:30 in the morning. But it's not easy. My flesh RAILS against it and wants its way...which is that nice soft pillow and those warm covers and those few more minutes to myself before the baby wakes up. But notice...it wants SELF more than God.
Ah, but He is making it sooo sweet! Knowing that I get to hang out in my back yard on my porch swing with a cup of hot tea, the sun rising at my back and a song in my heart ("Welcome Holy Spirit"), with the SON OF GOD...it's irresistible.
So again, these ancient scriptures are making perfect sense in my life in 2010. If I seek Him first, all the other stuff just sort of falls into place.
So, I'm still around ya'll. Have you been wondering? Well, I've been feeling like a slacker, that's for sure. Things aren't going so great. I think they were going pretty well there for a while, but somehow, my house has gotten out of control, I haven't been watching what I eat and haven't been exercising and I've just felt like a big ol' blob! I must admit that I've been a little depressed. I'm not sure why, but I've just been very down the past month or so. (sigh)
Anyway, this weekend was my daughters birthday and we had the party at my mom's in Eastern KY. It was a great party, but when it was all over, I felt like I had been run over by a truck! It's not like the kind of "sore" you feel after a good workout, I hurt like I was old or something. I felt extremely weak. I couldn't just stand up off the couch, I'd have to scoot to the edge and then lift myself off with my arms by putting my hands on the back of the couch, because my legs and core muscles were too weak. That's the kind of stuff I had to do when I was pregnant! And I noticed that when I was walking, I was sort of hunched over and scooting along like an old lady or something. There is no way in hades I want to feel this way for the next 50 to 60 years of my life! But I've noticed, that anytime I exert myself and do a lot, I can't move for the next few days....and that aint cool. The last time this happened, I went on a 3 day cleaning spree around the house because the TV and internet was out (hmmm...could that be a problem?). On the 4th day, I was toast! Tired, sore, achy and weak. It's the weak part that I don't like. I don't like feeling feeble. I'm too young to feel feeble. But I feel feeble nonetheless. I'm the only one who can take care of this, I know. Jesus, help me.
This morning I felt like taking a walk for some reason. So, I'm dressed with my socks and shoes on and ready to go...just waiting for the baby to get up. I'll be takin' it REAL slow, I can promise you that! But it's a start.
Have you ever heard of the Flylady? She's a Southern lady who developed systems over time to help her keep her housekeeping from becoming overwhelming. She breaks down what could be all day chores into manageable daily tasks that usually only take between 2-15 minutes to complete. I subscribe to all of her emails, but hardly ever read or follow them...but when I do, they are inspirational and helpful. And her website is wonderful...a real lifesaver (if one would follow its tenants...which I typically don't).
One thing she says is, "A load a day keeps Mt. Washmore away!" Now, if this isn't a Mt. Washmore, I don't know what is?
(notice the pile is taller than the dryer!)
These aren't dirty...they're all clean. I may do a load a day, but I RARELY fold and put them away. This is a learned habit from childhood. We did laundry this way at our house (I think I've mentioned this before). And on school days, still half asleep, we would go rummaging through the clean clothes pile looking for something to wear...usually the clothes were all wadded up and wrinkled. But, that's what we did. And I still do it this to this day, and I hate it. I love going to the closet and pulling out a shirt or a pair of pants neatly hanging on a hanger.
I even have them waiting here to hang up clothes as they come out of the dryer.
Or go to a drawer to find neatly folded socks and underwear a plenty! I know it takes a little bit of work to actually reap the benefits, but I'm just not in the habit of doing a load and folding and putting it away right out of the dryer. Another SAHMBIE habit that needs to be dealt with!
So, tonight, I'm going to haul all of the clothes out of the laundry room and spend a good 2-3 hours folding them while watching TV...another old family habit. At least Dancing With the Stars is on tonight (Kate free thank goodness)!
I decided not to count points today either. I'm not sure how that will play out with regards to those 3lbs I lost. I hope I didn't gain them all back this weekend, but I'm not going to weigh in again until next Friday...so I'll have to wait until then to find out!
I will say that this weekend I've felt sort of GROSS, ya know? That feeling you have when you've just eaten a lot of junk and you just feel yucky? I have felt much cleaner and lighter this week eating smaller more balanced meals and fresh fruits and veggies. So, I may just continue with the plan on the weekends too. We'll see. Now if only I would add a little exercise in, I'd be on top of the world!!!! LOL
Say a prayer for me this week...I'll keep you updated.
Today I went out of town to sing in a wedding. Of course by the time the reception rolled around I was STARVING! So I ate some of the reception food...sweet and sour meatballs, chips and dip, chicken and pineapple kabob, tiny quiche. Trying to figure points out for all that just seemed silly, so I just decided that today would be my off day...but tomorrow might be too. Can you take off two days on Weight Watchers? But the truth is, on Sunday's I never eat a lot...usually just one meal. So I may still stay under my points. But today, I'm not even gonna bother. I ate mostly junk today. It's no wonder truckers are some of the most unhealthy people in the country! It's just too easy to swing by the gas station and pick up a bag of powdered doughnuts and Funyons for the road.
On a good note...drumroll please~~~~~~~~~~~~~I lost 3 pounds this week!!!! YAY!!!!
Let's hope I don't gain them all back this weekend! I'll let you know.
Goal 29-34!!!! I messed up the points. This is what a really get, not 39-44. Ooopsie! LOL But looking back over the week I saw that I was still in range every day except two.
Breakfast: none
Snack: none
Lunch: (Ate out at a Mexican restaurant w/ my hubby) Chicken Taquitos w. rice (I only ate half of it) 10points, chips and salsa 7points, water w. lemon and Diet Coke Snack: Special K snack bar 2points, 2 KFC chicken legs, 6points
I said in the title that I had a slip up because I just HAD to have a sausage biscuit this morning. Our Arby's serves breakfast and I prefer theirs because it's not so greasy, but it still uses up a lot of points. In addition to that, I had a McDonald's hashbrown and a large orange juice. That one breakfast took up nearly half of my days points. But the thing is, after I ate it, I felt so yucky and full that I couldn't even fathom having lunch. But mid afternoon, I did have half a brownie leftover from yesterday. Then, when I was making my hubby some home made french fries, I had, well, several. So, eating that fried food wasn't so great either. So, I'm not extremely proud of today's food choices, but by the mid afternoon, I got it together.
And I don't know what I'd do without Dottie's Weight Loss Zone?! It is an invaluable resource for anyone wanting to do the Weight Watcher's plan.
Breakfast: Arby's sausage biscuit, 11points McDonald's hashbrown 3points, large orange juice 5points Snack: bottle of water
Breakfast: 1/2 an English muffin, 1 tsp. butter and one egg, 5points, Diet Coke
Snack: 4 small slices of cantelope (about a cup) 1point
Lunch: Healthy Choice entree 6points, bottle of water
Snack: Weight Watchers Ice Cream Bar (delish!) 2points, 1 brownie 5points (made 3 dozen for church...had to sneak at least one for myself! LOL But 5 points for one? Sheesh!), bottle of water
Dinner: Frozen Entree 6points, Diet Coke
Snack: 1 McDonald's Chicken nugget 1point, Small Coke 3points
Exercise: none
Total: 29points!!!! What the heck??? I'm not coming any where close to my allotted points! After I ate dinner, I actually felt STUFFED and couldn't have eaten another thing if I tried. And the only reason I took a bite or two of chicken nuggets (3 hours later) was because I was biting them in half for my daughter. I haven't been a bit hungry so far, which is great. And I'm still LOVING not cooking. Like I said, I am making simple dinners for my hubby and baby, but am not cooking big family meals. Eating these frozen dinners is helping me keep portions and fat and calories in check. And oh my gosh! They taste AMAZING! It's actually EASY to eat this way. I think I'm liking it...I think I could stick with this for a long period of time ya'll. Say a prayer!
Snack: Slim Fast Shake 3points, Cream cheese and crackers 6points
Dinner: Frozen Entree 4points, baked potato with Brummel and Brown butter 6points
Snack: Smart Ones Strawberry Shortcake 4points
Exercise: Walking 20 minutes
Total Points: 37! I did it again! I came under 39 again today. I'm finding that around mid afternoon, I've only used like half my points and need a whole lot more, so I start trying to add snacks to accumulate points. I'm not eating just to be eating though...I do feel a little hungry....so I eat!
And can I just say that I'm totally loving not cooking. Tonight, my hubby even made his own dinner...burgers on the grill. It's working well so far.
Remember, I'm doing a faux Nutrisystem thing, but am following the Weight Watchers points system to keep myself of track. I lost the little slider thingy that tells you what your points are according to the calories, fat and dietary fiber on the Nutrition Facts on the packaging. But I found the same counter online here! I'm so thankful for this ya'll! I've been using it all day!
Breakfast: First thing this morning, I actually forgot I was on this diet, and just out of habit picked up a a few pieces of this "cookie pizza" dessert thingy at my Bible study group. It was good, but about 4 small squares later, I realized I was counting points...yikes! It's funny how our habits are so ingrained that they take over even after we've resolved to do something completely different. Anyway, I had a few small squares of that dessert and a diet coke, so I'm going to count it as 6 points.
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Pizza (it was good!) 7 points, Diet Coke Snack: Special K Chocolate snack bar 2points, 1/2 cup baby carrots 0 points, bottle of water
Snack: Slim Fast Shake 3 points
Dinner: 1/2 cup packaged chicken and broccoli noodles 3 points, Healthy Choice Meal 6 points, Diet Coke
Snack: Smart ones Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dessert (OMtotheGosh!!!!!! THESE ARE HEAVEN!!!!) 3 points
Exercise: none...the day just got away from me...but that's no excuse!
Point total: 30!!! Wow! I didn't even come close to the conservative side of my point allotment of 39. Yay me!!!! And I wasn't even hungry today. A success!
I went grocery shopping today and am happy to say that my fridge is all stocked up with fresh fruits and veggies, Slim Fast shakes, bottled water and Diet Cokes. My freezer is packed to the hilt with frozen entrees and my pantry is full of low fat snacks and healthy breads. There's no way I can fail this week (unless I decide in a panic to hop in my car and make a run for the nearest KFC! LOL)!
I know a lot of you probably disagree with my "pretend Nutrisystem" plan and with purchasing all these "diet foods." But in all honesty, I'm just tired of trying to figure it all out right now. I don't want to measure or count or THINK! Trust me, I have educated myself over the years on nutrition and fitness. I'm no expert, but I'm no dummy either. I know I could cook all this stuff myself and probably save some money in the process. But I just don't want to right now. I'm trying to make this as easy as possible so I can hopefully get in the habit of eating small portions and lighter meals. And what could be easier than popping a low fat dinner in the microwave, preparing a nice green salad in those 3 minutes and cracking open a bottle of water? Um, not much! LOL I mean, these folks have done all the counting, measuring and even the cooking for me, all I have to do is follow it for a consistent amount of time and I should lose weight. So, I'm giving this a week, and if I like it, I'll do it another week and maybe another and another.
There's probably like 20 frozen dinners in there.
Have you ever had these Smart Ones Desserts??? They're AMAZING!!! I'd rather have one of these than a big tub of Ben and Jerry's! Seriously!
Lots of drinks.....
Lots of fruits and veggies...still in the grocery bags. Yeah...I'm not very organized.
Whole grain bread and Special K with Strawberries (I LOVE that cereal!)
In other news, I mentioned in yesterday's post that I'm making some strides in my housekeeping efforts. I'm trying to get little things done here and there and am doing a little bit of multitasking to complete different tasks. Everyone says it, but doing a little bit at a time, doing your work in small, manageable blocks, really does work. I'm doing better. Not super great, but better.
I'm going to make a plan and stick to it! I'm setting a couple of diet and exercise goals this week and failure is not an option!!! I'm gonna give this a week to see how it goes. If I don't like the plan, then I'll tweak it, but I will do this for 6 days...no matter what.
Let me start off by giving ya'll a little update because I've been totally blowing my journaling efforts. We're 4 months into this thing and weight wise, I'm exactly where I was when I started on January one. Exercise...nada. Housekeeping...some improvement. Personal hygiene (teeth brushing, hair combing, getting dressed, taking a shower)...a GREAT improvement. Meeting personal interest and business goals...Great improvement. A light at the end of the sahmbie tunnel? Yes, definitely! We're not out of the woods yet, but January 2011 is still a ways away, and I'm not giving up without a fight!!!! I'm feeling good about some things that were bringing me down, and my attitude is sooooo much better. I feel your prayers!
Ok, on to the diet plan for the week.
I'm pretending to be on the Nutrisystem plan!!! LOL Sans the expensive start up costs! I had a close friend who did Nutrisystem for a little while with some success, but said that you didn't get as much food as you would think. You still have to provide your own fresh fruits and veggies and some bread products. So, I thought, I'm gonna pretend that my fridge is stocked with special prepackaged meals and snacks that I paid an arm and a leg for and restrict myself to eating those for a week! But instead of having a nutritionist put all this together for me, I'm going to use the Weight Watchers point system to keep myself on track. Brilliant plan huh?
For breakfast- I'm going to eat an egg and whole wheat toast w/ a little Brummel and Brown or a Slim Fast Shake
Midmorning Snack-piece of fresh fruit
Lunch-Small garden salad and a Smart One or Lean Cuisine Meal
Midafternoon Snack-Not sure
Dinner-Small garden salad and a Smart One or Lean Cuisine Meal
Evening Snack-Air popped popcorn (old school...like my grandmother used to make! LOL)
Exercise-30 minutes of something...walking, stationary bike, aerobics DVD
The reason I'm doing my pretend Nutrisystem diet and buying a lot of prepackaged stuff is because these people have done the work for us. I mean, Slim Fasts are protein shakes with lots of vitamins and minerals, those prepackaged frozen dinners are low in fat, low in calories, balanced meals (I love this because I HATE figuring out all that mess) and of course, adding in fresh fruits and vegetables is just good for you and filling.
This time next week, I'll let you know how it all went down and how much I spent on the food.
I'm ready!!!!
A pic of me taking a pic of myself. LOL Oh my...I'm looking more and more like my mom!
Hey everyone. It's been a while, huh? I know I'm just writing and not standing before you face to face, but I feel kind of awkward, like I'm just running into you after a long time apart. Maybe it's because I have nothing positive to tell you all and I'm sort of ashamed of myself. It's the middle of March, nearly 3 months into my journey out of sahmbiedom, and here I am, feeling like I've sunk deeper than ever. I feel depressed, down, blue, uninspired, unmotivated, my house is a mess, I'm a mess. I promised I'd be honest and real with you on this journey and there it is. The truth. I'm failing. A lot of it has to do with extenuating circumstances from the past that keep plaguing my mind, which has been literally debilitating. So here I am...zombie mom...again.
I don't have much more to say. But I will do a better job at chronicling these feelings, ok? Not keeping my promise to blog about this journey doesn't serve me, and really just makes me feel even worse...like a failure. At the end of this year, if nothing has changed, at least I can say I've told the story.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I just posted something on my other blog "Happily Home" that was supposed to go here. But I decided to just leave it because I hadn't posted anything over there in a while either. So, you can read a post at "Happily Home" that tells how I've been doing the past few weeks on this journey we're taking together.
I first saw the Hungry Girl, Lisa Lillien, on the Rachel Ray show. She's a real foodie, and had these amazing tips and tricks on ways to save calories and fat on the show, so I couldn't wait to check out her website. The other day, I decided to sign up for her daily emails and am loving them. I learned to make these egg scrambles in a mug in the microwave using egg substitute and low fat veggies and meats (very low fat...as opposed to my other mug creation that was a total diet buster! see it here).
I used some leftover green onion, cilantro and avocado from last nights chili, and added some salsa to the eggs. In the microwave, it began to grow and grow and sort of turned into an "eggzilla" for minute there!
But after just a couple of minutes, it was done...all in the cup! I decided to warm up a tortilla and added the egg mixture and a little more salsa for a breakfast burrito. I even had over half of the egg mixture left, so I can eat it again tomorrow. It was very filling, despite being so low in calories, that I wasn't even hungry again until the late afternoon.
Check out hungrygirl.com and sign up for her free daily emails and tips and tricks. I think you'll be glad you did.
I created the term SAHMbie back in 2008 to describe how I felt walking around all day in a fog, with no plans, no goals, no drive, no desire, no joy and no love for myself...like a zombie...dead inside.
I'm so sick of feeling depressed, obese, tired, uninterested and disappointed in myself. It's got to change...I've got to change! I'm scared to put it all out there, but ready to get honest about it or I'll never change it.
Being a stay at home mom is a gift that I don't want to take for granted anymore. I want to be that woman who manages her home and her family with enthusiasm, joy and pride (like in Proverbs 31). And I want to be a woman who takes care of herself...mind, body and spirit.
This blog will be my personal journal and my way of staying accountable.
Here are my goals
~Get (and keep) my house in order
~Lose weight
~Get in shape
~Require more of myself (personal hygiene and appearance)
~Develop a better spiritual life
~Pursue my own desires and dreams more fervently.
It is now 2013...5 years since I first coined the term SAHMbie (there was no such word to be found online at the time), and not much has changed. But I still want to change.
This road will be hard, but we can do it together!
Hi, my name is Angie and I am a wife of 13 years to a wonderful man and mother to one darling baby girl. I am a Christian, a singer (hope to sing professionally one day), a people person and a girly girl. I enjoy blogging, reading, decorating my house, cooking, eating a good meal and watching a good movie with my man.
I'm very far from perfect and not even close to the person I want or know I can be. I hope writing this blog, and getting honest about those things will help me to change that.
