Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Weekend...5 of 90

It's Sunday, so I've been resting and haven't done much else. God says it's ok, so I'm not gonna stress about it (even though I'd like to).

Road Trip! 4 of 90

Headed to Knoxville, TN for a seminar/training for my business. Leaving at like 5am and getting back the same, it'll be a whirlwind kind of day. I'm sure my goals are going to fall by the wayside, but one of them is to do business building activities, and participating in trainings and networking counts.
Gotta not be so hard on myself I guess.

3 of 90

Have gone to bed with a clean sink for 3 days in a row and have been diligent with keeping up housework. yay. But I'm not getting my hopes up.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

What's Easy 2 of 90

It would be really easy this morning to succumb to the depression that has plagued me for weeks now. I must say, I hate it when there's a wrench thrown into my perfect plans. Yesterday felt so good. Everything went so well for me, I was a busy little bee instead of an idle couch potato.

But last night was one of those nights. I knew the minute I heard my little one let out a shrieking cry at 3am that the following day would be a struggle.

I went to bed around 12:30am last night...not unusual for me. I'm a night owl. But she was up at 3 and didn't go back to sleep until about 5am (because of another puking episode), then was back up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8 sharp! That means, I had less than 5 hours of sleep last night. I'm an 8 hour girl for sure. As I lay there, groggy, I started to become angry. My plans for getting up early and spending time with the Lord were already plans were shot. So I found myself becoming resentful and not wanting to follow through with ANY of my plans, all because my day didn't get off to the right start.

So as I sit here with a big grumpy scowl on my face, and on my heart, I know have some choices to make. Am I going to drink this coffee, wake up and get a move on despite the fact that I'm seriously aggravated, or am I going to sit here, stare at my laptop in a sahmbie daze, do nothing all day and then cry later because I feel like a failure? The former has been the choice of late and I've been spiraling into a serious depression. As crazy as it sounds, that really has been the easier choice, because it makes my flesh happy to do nothing. But I've caught on to that strategy from the enemy, and I'm not going to let it work in my life anymore. I choose to do the difficult thing, which is deny my flesh, get off my bootie and continue with my day with a good attitude.

As soon as I click "publish post," I'm going to close my laptop, jump in the shower, get dressed, dry my hair, and get to work on tackling Mt. Washmore (which I've let pile up to an insane elevation again).

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Difficult Thing...1of 90

I still don't feel like sharing yet, why I'm continuing this blog for a few more weeks. I'm just going to walk out some of the things I've promised myself that I'm going to do. I'm not very good at keeping promises to myself, but I'm going to try my best.

Some of which are getting up earlier, having a quiet time in the morning with God, and not turning the computer on until I've gotten some important things done around the house. Below is an email I sent to a friend this morning who is going through some of the same things. If she will allow me, I will link up to her brand new blog sometime soon.

This morning. I was going to MAKE myself get up at 7, but it felt AWFUL, so I hit the snooze a million times until like 7:30. But when I did get up, I made some coffee, and started reading the Word a little, it felt good. Then at 8 Gabby was up. But I made myself take a shower and do some cleaning before I ever opened my laptop, and of course, it feels great to have a lot done.

But it's like I won't let myself feel good for more than one day. "Me time" has always been, "I'll do whatever the heck I want, and watching TV all day is my time, or taking a nap every day is "me time." But that's just a lie from Satan. It's actually selfish and prideful, and out and out laziness. I know these things, but it's so hard to change. But change isn't magic. It's doing the difficult thing every hour of every day until it's not difficult anymore.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

90 More Days....

Ok guys, I can't elaborate because I'm sooo infuriated today. But the sahmbie chronicles isn't done yet!

I've been working on a "farewell to the sahmbie chronicles" post for a couple of weeks now, giving you the wrap-up to how my year blogging about coming out of sahmbiedom has been. Remember, it was only supposed to last a year.

But today....gosh, today was just the worst. I've felt miserable all week...2 weeks...well, 3 weeks...but today was the epitome of "I'M SO OVER IT!" Like I said...I'm too upset to go into it, but I just wanted to give you the low down...

I will be continuing this blog for 90 more days. There are some goals I want to accomplish and you will hear from me, come hail or high water, every single day!

I'm going to calm down this evening with a cup of tea, a dip in the hot tub, some time in the Word and in prayer and maybe tomorrow I'll be able to coherently
go into why I was so over it today.