Thursday, March 25, 2010

Disappointed

Hey everyone. It's been a while, huh? I know I'm just writing and not standing before you face to face, but I feel kind of awkward, like I'm just running into you after a long time apart. Maybe it's because I have nothing positive to tell you all and I'm sort of ashamed of myself. It's the middle of March, nearly 3 months into my journey out of sahmbiedom, and here I am, feeling like I've sunk deeper than ever. I feel depressed, down, blue, uninspired, unmotivated, my house is a mess, I'm a mess. I promised I'd be honest and real with you on this journey and there it is. The truth. I'm failing. A lot of it has to do with extenuating circumstances from the past that keep plaguing my mind, which has been literally debilitating. So here I am...zombie mom...again.

I don't have much more to say. But I will do a better job at chronicling these feelings, ok? Not keeping my promise to blog about this journey doesn't serve me, and really just makes me feel even worse...like a failure. At the end of this year, if nothing has changed, at least I can say I've told the story.

6 comments:

Ruby Red Slippers said...

{{{Hugs}}} to you!
Enjoy each day-or find one thing that can make you smile...You will make it through-we can be the hardest critics of ourselves as women...

Darcie said...

I am sorry my dear! Change can be a hard thing, thoughts from our past can plague us, but the thought about tomorrow being a new day can still ring true. I say...go with those good thoughts and feelings you had at the beginning of the year, and feed off that. The mind is a powerful thing...so let it lift you up. Hugs...and thanks for keeping it real. We are still here for you!

nancy said...

You are not a failure. This blog is intended to help you; do not worry about disappointing other people. You do what you need to do for yourself and your family. You are a great mom and are accomplishing more than you realize.

Mikila said...

Don't be discouraged girlie! Chin up! We don't all succeed the first time we try things...some of us must work a little harder.

As for the debilitating circumstance, when I'm facing something that seems to hold the focus of my mind, I try to quote the verse Isaiah 26:3. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Praying for you!

The Amusing Redhead said...

(((Angie)))
I am glad to "see" you again.

Rebecca said...

Praying for you, Angie. Don't give up!