Thursday, January 14, 2010

To Be Cute or Not To Be Cute? That is the Question.

Getting all dressed up feels good, but is it necessary every day?

Today I had to run some errands (thank God!) and was so happy because I haven't been out of the house, except to go to church in days and days. It's just been too cold to get the baby out. But today, it felt like summer compared to the freezing weather we've been having, even though the temps were only in the 40's. So, we got all dressed up and headed downtown!

It felt good to get all dolled up. To slather on some nice, smelly lotions, to put on my pretty strand of pearls that go so nicely with my hot pink sweater. But one thing I've become aware of, is that when I get all cute, I'm completely useless the rest of the day. I mean, there's no way I'm doing housework with nice clothes on, pearls and a full face of make-up! How did June Cleaver do it? I either want to hop in the car and go somewhere, or meet up with a girlfriend for lunch or go out with my man or something. This cuteness shouldn't be wasted on sitting around the house or on dusting and vacuuming. Needless to say, when I get dressed up, I run the roads and almost always spend money (which I can't afford to do right now).

So, what I've realized just today is that I can quit beating myself up for not getting fixed up every day. It's really not necessary if you are just hanging out around the house. For one thing, you're wasting make up and we all know how expensive make-up is nowadays. Not only are we wasting make-up, we also use up hair products (also expensive), perfumes (the kind I wear, Coco, is REALLY expensive) and those nice lotions from Victoria's Secret and Bath and Body Works. Now, maybe some of ya'll can afford to go through all these products and use them every single day, whether you're going someplace or not. And I say, "Go for it! That's great!" But I just simply can't. So, again, why get all worked up because I'm not getting dressed up everyday when #1. It's not necessary and #2. I can't afford it.

But that begs the question, "What is the middle ground?" To be a sahmbie slob, hanging out in pj's all day with narry a hair on your head head touched by a brush (that's Southern talk)? Or to be fully dressed to shoes (as Fly Lady says), make-up flawless, hair combed and curled and pearls gleaming around your neck? Where is the compromise?

Well, first of all, I believe that one of the benefits of being able to stay home, as opposed to working every day, is the luxury of NOT having to wear shoes. I know it's a Fly Lady tenant, as it makes you feel as if you have purpose when you have on your lace-up shoes. But I draw the line at wearing tennis shoes in the house all day. My feet get hot and it just doesn't feel right. Were ya'll raised to not wear shoes in the house? I was, so wearing them just feels unnatural. But I don't think it's ok (although I do it more times than not) to wear pajamas all day either. When you don't care enough to get yourself dressed in the morning, you really do feel sort of worthless and lazy (at least I do). I mean, come on. There's no excuse for it (talking to myself here)!

So what's the answer? What are some baby steps, and easy routines that I can follow to get myself going in the morning to get me out of sahmbie mode? First of all, have some clothes laid out, and get dressed. That's just non-negotiable. I'm going to follow my friends Patricia ("In My Free Time") and Nan's ("Mom's the Word") advice when they said to just focus on washing and moisturizing your face, brushing your teeth and hair and putting something on your lips first thing in the morning. I think for just hanging out around the house, that seems appropriate, don't you think? I mean, what high standard am I holding myself to anyway? Those cutesie little moms who wear pearls and frilly little aprons everyday? Again, if you do that and that makes you feel good, then who am I to stop you? Keep on doing what you're doing if it works for you. But I just can't sustain that level of perfectionism. I can barely get up enough gumption to put on deodorant, let alone heels and pearls! That's my middle ground. Get dressed, and follow through with teeth, hair, face and lips (oh and some deodorant wouldn't hurt). There's just no excuse for not doing those few things for myself everyday.

So anyway, just some things that I'm thinking about today, as I snuggle down on the couch. Because, in all my cuteness, I'm no good for anything else (well, until my man comes home from work...heehee)!

ps. If you keep up with my food and exercise journal, then you know...I aint trying very hard on that front. But for some reason, I've lost 5 lbs and am almost out of the 280's. This motivates me more than you know! I may just take a walk around the block later since these 40 degree temperatures feel like summer and all! LOL


kykathy said...

I can't afford all the "fancy" make-up, perfumes and lotions, either, and here is what I usuallly do each day. After breakfast, I get dressed in jeans & shirt, and after personal hygiene (teeth, hair, etc), i out onvery light make-up for the dya. This sees me thru running errands such as post office, grocery, etc. I seldom go anywhere I need to dress up, but if I have an appointment or just want to feel a little more "pulled together", I'll wear black pants and a top, and add a little more make-up and lipstick. Oh, and so I am not totally useless, I usually change back to jeans when I return home. And no shoes in the house for me, either! Barefoot in summer, socks in winter! Shoes by the door in case I need to run outside!

nancy said...

You look beautiful and you are doing great! Keep up the good work!

momstheword said...

I know what you mean about the clothes. I wear jeans around the house, with t-shirts or tops that I can work in, without worrying about them getting "ruined."

Then, if I go out, I can quickly change my shirt. I do think it's important to fix our hair and make ourselves look nice for our hubby. It is so easy to "let yourself go" after the kids come.

I always said I wouldn't but know I understand why women do it, lol!

My friend used to wear her bathrobe all day long and never clean her house and she blamed it on having a baby. Then I had a baby (and managed to get dressed and clean my house) and she blamed it on have two kids. Then I had two kids and she blamed it on having three kids.

Sometimes we have to look at homemaking as a job, because there's nothing that's making us do it. We don't have a boss breathing down our necks telling us to clean the kitchen, etc. So we have to motivate ourselves. said...

Hi Angie!!!
CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss that is AWESOME!!!

I think you are doing great and I love reading your ups and downs!!

Middle ground... I don't know!
On my days off I love to hang out in my pj's all day... it is so cozy! I hate the thoughts of getting a shower and getting dressed and I will NOT get dressed without a shower so I put it off!
That being said...
On days like this I AM NOT PRODUCTIVE... at all!

So I have been trying to take a shower at night then freshening up in the AM
Even though I would prefer a shower right before dressing... I am trying this out
I force myself to get dressed and I put on clogs... easy on easy off.
I get more done dressed with shoes but
I too hate shoes... I would rather be barefoot all the time that wear shoes...
This is one fly lady tip that I just have a hard time with
As for makeup on stay at home days I don't do it unless someone is coming over
I just wash and moisturize.
I really only wear makeup if I am working or going out.

I look forward to reading other thoughts thanks for letting me share mine!

Darcie said...

Looks like you got some great advice up above Angie.

First...LOVE the picture...too cute!!! go girl 5lbs..not even, AMAZING!!!!!!

Third(advice)Do you know what has always motivated me to at least look pretty...not completely dolled up...just enough that I look in the mirror and don't cringe. MY HUSBAND. I figured he deserved to see me looking pretty(not perfect), but at least pretty. So if anything maybe do it for your husband. Maybe even have a conversation with him and ask him if he feels any different when he comes home and see's you with your hair done and such.

Once again..just my thoughts. ;-)