Thursday, February 18, 2010

Struggling

Just wanted to let you know that I'm really struggling with the eating thing. I'm not even remotely trying to control it or change anything about it. It's getting worse actually. I'm not surprised by this. It happens every time. I try to change just a little and do better and I take 100 steps backward. I had lost a few pounds (from the stomach flu) and kept them off for about a month, but have gained back everything and am back where I was when I started this blog on January one. This is a pic of me out to dinner with my hubby on Feb. 14th, Valentines Day (rockin' the pink sweater and pearls again!)


I was hoping to have lost some weight before the spring. We were going to FINALLY have a family portrait made. Can you believe my husband and I have not had our picture made together since we were engaged back in 1996? And we haven't had a picture made together with our baby yet either? The sad truth is, it's all because I don't want to be photographed this fat! I know that sounds ridiculous. I mean, my daughter deserves to see her family together in pictures when she's older. It's just another part of the whole, "not living" thing. Not getting out there, not being present, not fully enjoying life...hiding all the time. But again, that's why I'm doing this blog. To get real, to put it out there and finally shed some light on all this darkness once and for all. I just need your prayers right now guys. I'm really struggling and feel defeated in this area. Your prayers are much appreciated and valued!

Now, on the upside, I am enjoying moving and exercising. Maybe it's because the weather has just been so gloomy lately that it feels good to get my blood flowing! Today it was a little sunny for the first time in many weeks and I wanted to go for a walk so bad, but of course, there's the baby factor. There's still no way I'm getting her out in 30 degree weather. But working out at home is proving fun until it gets warm outside.

I'm also proud of some of the strides I've made in my housekeeping. I've been doing some productive things very consistently that have made a difference in my home, like picking up around the house every time I'm up, even if it's just one toy or throwing away a little trash, it's helping. And I also got my room cleaned up, boxes unpacked and put away and have been making the bed every day. It looks really pretty in there! At my old house, the bedroom stayed "unfinished" for 6 years. It was a shame because we had a nice bedroom. I vowed that I would put some effort into making our bedroom comfortable and inviting AND CLUTTER FREE in this new house. And I've done it! It feels good. And I think my husband appreciates that it's calming when he comes in from work and gets undressed in there. I've even noticed that instead of draping his clothes over the stationary bike (which I removed) or over the dresser mirror, he is putting them away. Does anyone else's hubby do that? So, I'm doing some things that I'm proud of and it's not all bad.

5 comments:

Darcie said...

Weight loss is such a struggle, no matter how you look at it, because I think there are so many factors that go into it. Keep trying though...that is always got to be the most important, not to give up.

As for the husband...yes, when things are picked up they are more aware of picking up their things. Good for him!

P@nmyfreetime.blogspot.com said...

Hey Angie!
{hug}
I think you are doing GREAT in my eyes... you know why?
Because instead of mindlessly going through the day you are conscious of what you are doing.
Instead of thinking about the things you are doing wrong... think of what you are doing right...
You are exercising, keeping the house clean, taking better care of yourself... and more if you look at it!
I don't have the answers... you know that this is my struggle too however I do know that prayer works and I do know that I am praying for you.
On the days when you are going "crazy" eating everything in sight may God gently embrace you and hold you until the pain goes away.

God Bless you Angie!
I am right here for you!
Patricia

Shea said...

I have a friend that struggled with weight loss for years until this year. She found a group of people that also wanted to lose weight and they were all losing a couple then gaining them back for months. They decided to make it more interesting by adding some money into the goal. They each put $10 into the pot and by the end of the goal (let's say 5 months) whoever loses the most weight by percentage gets the pot of money. They asked around to see if anyone else was interested in joining and the cash prize got way up there. So far she has lost 22 pounds in 4 months. Do you think that's something you could do?
I did pray for you just now and I know the Lord is going to help you just keep it up.
Go get a family picture Angie. You are a beautiful woman and you're right, your daughter deserves it. I love you and know you can do this!!

The Amusing Redhead said...

I love this pic of you Angie :-)

Wayne said...

Angie, you can do this!!! exercising is the first step! you are my encouragement.I'm going to redo my bedroom for my hubby this month(march) i think every time I read your blog that we live the same life (except I have 5 kids) but we even have about the same weight/height stats. and you are inspiring me to get fit even though I can't find time in my day. try making you meals for the next day at night when yournot famished laying out a concreate plan helps me to stay on track the hardest thing for me is not to eat the not so health things I let my kiddos have (I think I'm punishing them if I don't feed them sweets because I can't control myself) butI have found no matter what i give them they would rather have what I'm having...
keep trucking I can't find time to exercise

AMY GREEN