Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So Here it is Folks...The Ugly Truth


I can't believe I'm doing this.
I'm always oh-so careful about what I put up on the internet for God and everybody to see. I just about beat my husband once for putting a full body shot of me on facebook...I could not let all of my friends see me so...fat.
But this is the truth...and I'm ready to face it...but I'm scared...scared to death!

So, here we go.
Deep breath.
You can do this.

This is me today, December 30th, 2009, the perfect example of a sahmbie....that stay-at-home-mom-zombie. This is how I spend most of my days...in my pajamas, hair and teeth unbrushed, no makeup, nowhere to go and no goals for the day.
Sad isn't it?



Here are the stats...the ugly truth:

Weight: 286 lbs

Fitness level: (out of 10) 3

Energy level: 2

Goals: none

Number of days a week spent in pajamas: 5 or 6

Number of days a week without a shower: 4 or 5

Number of days a week without brushing teeth: 5 or 6

Personal hygiene: poor

Last time I went to bed with all the dishes done: like 6 months ago or something

Last time I went to bed with toys picked up off the floor: not sure

Last time I went to bed with all the laundry washed and put away: never

Last time I ate anything that resembled adult food: can't remember

Last time I exercised: can't remember

Last time I did anything that I was passionate about that made me feel good about myself: can't remember

Days a week I go out in public looking like death warmed over: almost every time I go out

Can you relate? How many of these can you check off that describe you? If you can only check off one or two, then congratulations, you are not a sahmbie! But I know that there are MANY women who can relate to almost all of these. I'm not sure, my dear sister, where you are on your journey, or even if you want to change. But frankly...I can't stand being this way hardly another minute. I'm at the point where I have to change this, or concede to failure as a wife, mother, homemaker and woman because no one should require this little of themselves.

I can't be a failure...I won't be a failure...this has to work.

I'm currently not doing anything to make my situation any better...but I desire to change...and I have a plan! That's what this blog is all about.

Hopefully this time next year, I'll no longer be a sad sahmbie, but an alive, saucy, vibrant woman whose proud of the mom, wife, homemaker and woman she really is!

Stay Tuned!

12 comments:

Heather said...

Angie, I'm so proud of you! This takes real courage, and not everyone has the guts to be so honest.

Remember, even if you stumble along the path to reaching your goals, you are NOT a failure. Every new day is a chance to start over, so you'll just pick yourself up and try again. You can do this!

Kim Rouse Hoskins said...

Good for you! Saying it outloud is half the battle.

Darcie said...

Oh Sweet Angie...first I LOVE people that keep it real, and yet I have a fear sometimes of being real.

I have been where you have been, and almost at the exact time when my kids were little. It does get better, and I want to be here to help you on your journey...not that I have the answers, but hopefully just by walking along beside you..I can help.

momstheword said...

Having a plan is good, my friend! Thanks for being so honest. I remember when the kids were little and I was so tired.

You will be amazed just how much combing your hair, washing your face and teeth and getting dressed will refresh you and lift your spirits. It really will!

Also, just waking up to a clean sink in the morning is also a great way to put a smile on your face.

Isn't it nice to know that the Lord cares about what we care about?

So I'm looking forward to reading about which goal you're starting with!

I would start with a morning routine and I'd write it down just so I could check it off each morning!

Your morning routine could include putting a load of laundry in, as well as clearing away the breakfast dishes, getting dressed and hair and teeth done!

I wish you'd been blogging when I was a young mom. I can still relate though, because I homeschool and I can still be lazy in how I dress (or when I dress) and I haven't exercised in awhile either!

~ Nan

DarcyLee said...

I can certainly remember those days especially when my first daughter was a baby. My marriage was also in a dark place at the time so I wasn't feeling like I had anything to get dressed for anyway. But then, I would look at my daughter and I knew that I had something to live for and someone to be an example for. I knew she needed a mommy that smiled and took care of herself because as she grew older she watched me. Even nowadays, with no little ones to watch what I'm doing, I still shower and get dressed every morning because it makes me feel so much better. God bless your endeavor to be a better wife and mommy. I'll be praying for you.

nancy said...

I have seen pictures of your home on your blog. Your decorations look beautiful and your house looks spotless. I think that you are being too hard on yourself and that you are accomplishing a lot more than you are giving yourself credit for.

Angie said...

Thank you Nancy, you're so sweet.

But the sad truth is, you only see what I want you to see. My house is a mess and I weigh almost 300 lbs. I only show you my pretty, flattering pictures and the "clean" corners of my house.

In getting honest about all this, I plan on posting pics of the disarray that is my home and of the "real me."

Thanks for your encouragement...stay tuned.

Michelle said...

Angie,

I'm so proud of you!! You have courage that I could only dream of having!!!!

PJ@nmyfreetime.blogspot.com said...

Angie
{{{HUG}}}
You are seriously the BRAVEST woman I know!
WOW! I am in complete awe of your honesty
I too am planning some MAJOR changes in my life for 2010 and in all honesty... the only difference in your list and mine is that you are a SAHM!
I am proud of you and I am looking forward to sharing with you this journey!
God Bless you!
Patricia

Elaine said...

Angie, I am so in awe of you right now! I awoke this morning with the same ugly, negative feelings toward myself that I've been struggling with lately. I know what I need to do to feel better about myself and my body, but am lacking in the motivation and positive energy to get started. You have inspired me! I'm so excited for you! You DO have a goal! This blog shows your creativity, passion, and zest! I can't wait to follow and join this journey of yours with you. I'll be with you all the way!!

The Amusing Redhead said...

I commend you for your transparency!

Baby steps,

Kariann

Shea Whaley said...

Angie I am proud of you, and God is going to guide you through this rut. Continue focusing on him and your relationship. Keep taking it day by day. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I'm eager to journey this with you.
Here is a little of my testimony. . .
I suffered with depression after the birth of Elaina and it lasted for over a year. I was so a zombie for a long time. It was then when I realized I couldn't live my way anymore. I got my relationship right with the Lord and woke up every morning telling him that I was going to live for him and not myself. I read my bible and just talked with him for however long it took. He made me feel so refreshed that I felt like I could do anything. And the days I woke up without talking to him. . . I could so tell because my day would be pointless, full of no accomplishments, I don't really know how to explain it.
Remember that God loves you so much Angie and he wants nothing but the best for his little girl. I'm so glad you are journaling all of this, so you can look back and see God at work.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith." 1 Peter 5:7-9a