Man...I have a lot to do!
I have to sort of close my eyes for a minute and take a breather when I think of tackling all the "mess" in my life. And I don't just mean the mess in the kitchen sink! You don't get to be 300 lbs (my heaviest weight before I was pregnant was 305 and during my pregnancy, I got up to 324...I am currently at 286, my pre-pregnancy weight) without years and years of ignoring yourself and your problems. And you don't get rooms and rooms in your house piled with "stuff" overnight. I've been a "mess" for a long time folks.
The years and years of breaking promise after promise to myself (and loved ones), that I was going to change. It wears on you. You've disappointed your own self so many times that you don't trust yourself to do anything...so you don't. Can you understand why this is terrifying? I've set out on this path more times than I can count, and have let myself down every time. I'm so disgusted with myself, yet feel like if I take that first step, it will mean I'll have to take another and another. I've required so little of myself for so long that even making small changes, like getting dressed everyday seems impossible and so foreign.
But even if I have to claw my way out of this, I will (I have a feeling there will be days when a step feels like moving lead!), because I have no other choice. It's do or die time.
Ok my head is already spinning, but I'll try to list just a couple of things that I'm going to start off with in January.
Health-Long Term
When I thought of what "long term" meant, I realized that those goals were going to be the things that probably took the whole year and would require the most diligence and discipline, two of my worst vices. So, I'm not starting out like a blast from a gun, I'm going to take it slow and incorporate small changes that will eventually turn into big ones (I hope).
Eating-Short Term:
I'm not changing anything about my eating for the month of January except that I will be keeping a food journal on my other new blog, "One Sahmbie's Food and Exercise Journal." If you want to keep up with it, you can read it here.
Exercise-Short Term:
I will be incorporating 30 minutes, 5 days a week into my daily routine. This is a biggie for me...I've never been able to keep up an exercise regimen, but like I said, if I have to go kicking and screaming...I will!
I'm not sure what my fitness level will permit me to do at this time...I'm pretty out of shape. But I have a stationary bike, videos, weights, On Demand (free videos on the TV), and my own two legs and sidewalks outside. I can do SOMETHING. The important thing is to develop the habit, and that's my focus right now. I'll also be journaling about this on the other blog as well.
Home-Long Term
My home is a crazy wreck! We moved almost 3 moths ago and still the bare essentials are the only things we've unpacked. I've got several rooms where boxes are still lingering, with "stuff" strewn all around where we've gone through them to look for things, but didn't bother to put any of it away. Laziness...that's really all it is...there's no excuse for it.
So the long term goals for my home are as follows...
Make sure every drawer, every closet and every room in this house is organized and tidy and maintained on a regular basis.
Now that will have to be broken down into small "doable" tasks. For guidance in this, I'm going to rely on resources from Flylady.net. I've been reading her website and receiving her emails for a long time now, but haven't incorporated her ideas and suggestions on a regular basis. Do you see a pattern? I have a problem with following through.
She has literally "hundreds" of ideas and tasks to follow on everything from a daily routine to keeping a calendar to zone cleaning. But for now I'm just going to concentrate on her ideas for...
Home-Short Term:
a morning and evening routine
the Home Blessing Hour
and doing some decluttering for 15 minutes a day
Again, I want to crawl under a rock and hide away from all this...it's very scary to me...the commitment. I don't want to fail.
Spiritual Life-Long Term
To have developed the discipline of a daily 1 hour bible study and prayer time.
Short term goal:
For January I'm going to start with 15 minutes a day.
So there you go...my goals for the month of January. I know what you're thinking...it seems like too much for someone who has done practically NOTHING for nearly 2 years...I'm thinking the same thing ya'll. But in reality, this isn't really a lot. A little exercise a little straightening of my house, and a little bit of a routine everyday.
It's not too bad...right?
What have I gotten myself into?
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Starting with a Fast
So I'm going to start this adventure (to say the least...did I mention that I'm absolutely terrified of doing this?) with a 3 day fast. I think it's appropriate and fitting to dedicate this endeavor to the Lord and lean on His strength. During this time I'll be posting on some of my goals and plans and praying over them as well.
I believe I'm going to follow a fast I read about in the book, French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano. In this book, the author's family doctor recommended that she drink a broth made from leeks for a few days to "recast" her body after some weight gain when she was a young woman. She says that women in France have been doing this for generations because leeks are a natural, mild diuretic, low in calories and nutritious. She continues to do this fast a few times every year as a natural cleanse.
I'm doing it for those reasons as well. But if you don't pray when you're fasting for spiritual reasons, you're pretty much just going hungry. Part of what I'm unhappy about in my life is that I am not at all disciplined in my prayer life or in my study of the Word. I also know that this isn't going to change over night, but I think starting off the new year with fasting and prayer is a step in the right direction.
There are thousands of Christians all over the world who begin the year with fasting and prayer. If you'd like to learn more about it, I'd like to recommend the book The 21 Day Fast by Dr. Bob Rodgers, pastor of Evangel World Prayer Center in Louisville, KY. He is one of the leading experts on the subject and has a lot of insight on the spiritual and physical benefits of fasting. Here are some of his tips.
If you'd like to join me in this time of seeking the Lord, I know from experience that when there is a corporate fast, there is a special strength that isn't there when you do it alone. Even if you just fast for one day, God will bless whatever you do. I'm starting on Saturday Jan. 2nd.
I hope you will join me.
I believe I'm going to follow a fast I read about in the book, French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano. In this book, the author's family doctor recommended that she drink a broth made from leeks for a few days to "recast" her body after some weight gain when she was a young woman. She says that women in France have been doing this for generations because leeks are a natural, mild diuretic, low in calories and nutritious. She continues to do this fast a few times every year as a natural cleanse.
I'm doing it for those reasons as well. But if you don't pray when you're fasting for spiritual reasons, you're pretty much just going hungry. Part of what I'm unhappy about in my life is that I am not at all disciplined in my prayer life or in my study of the Word. I also know that this isn't going to change over night, but I think starting off the new year with fasting and prayer is a step in the right direction.
There are thousands of Christians all over the world who begin the year with fasting and prayer. If you'd like to learn more about it, I'd like to recommend the book The 21 Day Fast by Dr. Bob Rodgers, pastor of Evangel World Prayer Center in Louisville, KY. He is one of the leading experts on the subject and has a lot of insight on the spiritual and physical benefits of fasting. Here are some of his tips.
If you'd like to join me in this time of seeking the Lord, I know from experience that when there is a corporate fast, there is a special strength that isn't there when you do it alone. Even if you just fast for one day, God will bless whatever you do. I'm starting on Saturday Jan. 2nd.
I hope you will join me.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
So Here it is Folks...The Ugly Truth
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I'm always oh-so careful about what I put up on the internet for God and everybody to see. I just about beat my husband once for putting a full body shot of me on facebook...I could not let all of my friends see me so...fat.
But this is the truth...and I'm ready to face it...but I'm scared...scared to death!
So, here we go.
Deep breath.
You can do this.
This is me today, December 30th, 2009, the perfect example of a sahmbie....that stay-at-home-mom-zombie. This is how I spend most of my days...in my pajamas, hair and teeth unbrushed, no makeup, nowhere to go and no goals for the day.
Sad isn't it?
Here are the stats...the ugly truth:
Weight: 286 lbs
Fitness level: (out of 10) 3
Energy level: 2
Goals: none
Number of days a week spent in pajamas: 5 or 6
Number of days a week without a shower: 4 or 5
Number of days a week without brushing teeth: 5 or 6
Personal hygiene: poor
Last time I went to bed with all the dishes done: like 6 months ago or something
Last time I went to bed with toys picked up off the floor: not sure
Last time I went to bed with all the laundry washed and put away: never
Last time I ate anything that resembled adult food: can't remember
Last time I exercised: can't remember
Last time I did anything that I was passionate about that made me feel good about myself: can't remember
Days a week I go out in public looking like death warmed over: almost every time I go out
Can you relate? How many of these can you check off that describe you? If you can only check off one or two, then congratulations, you are not a sahmbie! But I know that there are MANY women who can relate to almost all of these. I'm not sure, my dear sister, where you are on your journey, or even if you want to change. But frankly...I can't stand being this way hardly another minute. I'm at the point where I have to change this, or concede to failure as a wife, mother, homemaker and woman because no one should require this little of themselves.
I can't be a failure...I won't be a failure...this has to work.
I'm currently not doing anything to make my situation any better...but I desire to change...and I have a plan! That's what this blog is all about.
Hopefully this time next year, I'll no longer be a sad sahmbie, but an alive, saucy, vibrant woman whose proud of the mom, wife, homemaker and woman she really is!
Stay Tuned!
I'm always oh-so careful about what I put up on the internet for God and everybody to see. I just about beat my husband once for putting a full body shot of me on facebook...I could not let all of my friends see me so...fat.
But this is the truth...and I'm ready to face it...but I'm scared...scared to death!
So, here we go.
Deep breath.
You can do this.
This is me today, December 30th, 2009, the perfect example of a sahmbie....that stay-at-home-mom-zombie. This is how I spend most of my days...in my pajamas, hair and teeth unbrushed, no makeup, nowhere to go and no goals for the day.
Sad isn't it?
Here are the stats...the ugly truth:
Weight: 286 lbs
Fitness level: (out of 10) 3
Energy level: 2
Goals: none
Number of days a week spent in pajamas: 5 or 6
Number of days a week without a shower: 4 or 5
Number of days a week without brushing teeth: 5 or 6
Personal hygiene: poor
Last time I went to bed with all the dishes done: like 6 months ago or something
Last time I went to bed with toys picked up off the floor: not sure
Last time I went to bed with all the laundry washed and put away: never
Last time I ate anything that resembled adult food: can't remember
Last time I exercised: can't remember
Last time I did anything that I was passionate about that made me feel good about myself: can't remember
Days a week I go out in public looking like death warmed over: almost every time I go out
Can you relate? How many of these can you check off that describe you? If you can only check off one or two, then congratulations, you are not a sahmbie! But I know that there are MANY women who can relate to almost all of these. I'm not sure, my dear sister, where you are on your journey, or even if you want to change. But frankly...I can't stand being this way hardly another minute. I'm at the point where I have to change this, or concede to failure as a wife, mother, homemaker and woman because no one should require this little of themselves.
I can't be a failure...I won't be a failure...this has to work.
I'm currently not doing anything to make my situation any better...but I desire to change...and I have a plan! That's what this blog is all about.
Hopefully this time next year, I'll no longer be a sad sahmbie, but an alive, saucy, vibrant woman whose proud of the mom, wife, homemaker and woman she really is!
Stay Tuned!
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