Disappointed

Hey everyone. It's been a while, huh? I know I'm just writing and not standing before you face to face, but I feel kind of awkward, like I'm just running into you after a long time apart. Maybe it's because I have nothing positive to tell you all and I'm sort of ashamed of myself. It's the middle of March, nearly 3 months into my journey out of sahmbiedom, and here I am, feeling like I've sunk deeper than ever. I feel depressed, down, blue, uninspired, unmotivated, my house is a mess, I'm a mess. I promised I'd be honest and real with you on this journey and there it is. The truth. I'm failing. A lot of it has to do with extenuating circumstances from the past that keep plaguing my mind, which has been literally debilitating. So here I am...zombie mom...again.

I don't have much more to say. But I will do a better job at chronicling these feelings, ok? Not keeping my promise to blog about this journey doesn't serve me, and really just makes me feel even worse...like a failure. At the end of this year, if nothing has changed, at least I can say I've told the story.

I just posted something on my other blog "Happily Home" that was supposed to go here. But I decided to just leave it because I hadn't posted anything over there in a while either. So, you can read a post at "Happily Home" that tells how I've been doing the past few weeks on this journey we're taking together.