Being Aware

So my prayer this morning...not at 6:3o like I had planned, but more like 7 (I can live with that), was that God would just help me be aware today. That I would be mindful of my goal for the day and not forget that I was actually trying to eat right and exercise. Quite honestly, sometimes, because these bad habits are just so ingrained in my everyday life, I just don't remember to do things differently. So, like I said, my first goal was to remember. And God answered my prayer during my first test this morning.

I had made myself a nice breakfast BEFORE I left the house for my Bible study at 9. I even made an icy cold water bottle for myself before I left so I wouldn't be tempted to make a Sonic drink run on the way! Yes, I was mindful! YAY! But when I got to the house where we have our Bible study (Heather's house), I was faced with a scrumptious looking breakfast that Heather, the Queen of hospitality, had prepared for us. There was breakfast casserole, muffins, cinnamon rolls and coffee with yummy creamers. AHHH!!!! Now, last time I had purposed to eat right on a Monday, I showed up at her house and started mindlessly shoveling in all her yummy goodies (her cooking is hard to resist!) and right in the middle of some monkey bread realized what I had done! I felt like Homer Simpson...DOH!


But not this time. I was mindful (and resentful) and made it through the whole time without even having one bite of that breakfast (as much as I wanted to). I just sipped my water and looked forward to lunch. I was glad that I had eaten a good breakfast before or Heather's breakfast would have been too much to reisist! LOL

So it was a good day. I ate well under 1500 calories and walked a few times around the block (if you want to see my meals for the day, click here). Right now at 9:32 pm I'm not hungry, but would normally be rummaging through the cabinets for a little something sweet. I'm going to resist the temptation to go to the cabinet and grab one of those oatmeal creme pies I was eyeing earlier because I'm feeling really good about what I've done today. Like Chantel says in Never Say Diet, (and I'm paraphrasing) "....if you cheat and overeat, that's one more day you have to be fat." And she's so right. So, this day I'm choosing to do something about it.

Baby Steps are for the Birds!

Me singing the National Anthem at the Tennessee Smokies baseball game
a couple of weeks ago.
Weight: 280lbs.

Ok, so the end of August is closing in...I mean, AUGUST! Can you believe it is almost September? I can't! I'm absolutely floored that fall is upon us. If you remember, the goal of this blog was to wrangle myself into some good habits by January one, and January one will be here in 132 days!

AHHH!

In some aspects, yes, I have managed to develop some good habits and have made some MAJOR changes in my life for the better. But on the weight loss front...uh, it hasn't been a very good run to say the least!

I'm still not exercising, still not changing any of my eating habits and have certainly NOT been making an effort to do so either. I've been claiming that I just need, baby steps. But d'ya know what? The time for baby steps is over! It's time to HIT IT HARD, GO FULL THROTTLE, TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS, LAY THE RUBBER TO THE ROAD, PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL!

Now THAT gets me pumped up!

The thought of waking up tomorrow and going full force is way more exciting that just saying, "Well, today I'm going to try my best not to drink any soda. That will be a good start. And I may try to walk around the block....baby steps you know." Ugh! (eyes roll) What gets me going is saying, "Tomorrow I'm going to wake up at 6am and walk one mile, maybe two, come in, do some ab work and lift some weights, eat a low-cal, protein filled breakfast, get a shower, get dressed, drink water with lemon and go on with all of my other mommy/ housekeeping/ wifely duties for the day being very careful not to overeat and snack." Now that is a goal! And quite honestly guys, it's all I have time for at this point. I've wasted too much of the year to do any less. I have to "JUST DO IT!"

But I'm keeping in mind what Chantel Hobbs says in her book "The One Day Way." She says, "One day is all the time you need to lose all the weight you want!" The whole idea of the book is to focus on the day at hand. Meet your goals (whatever they may be) for that day and that day alone. Don't look at the mistakes of yesterday, don't worry about meeting lofty goals in the future, just focus on today. And that's the approach I'm going to take. Now, there's nothing wrong with having some goals. Goals keep us on track and give us something to look forward to. If I'm going to be honest with ya'll, I must admit that I'm not very good with achieving weight loss goals (duh). But I want to more than I've ever wanted anything. I feel like if I can come out a winner in this, I can succeed at anything! This is by and large THE issue of my adult life; discipline, self-control and resisting my stubborn will. I feel like if I can master those areas, there's no stopping me! And it just takes one day...and another day...and another day. I love that concept!!!!

Awesome book! READ IT!

So, here are the cold hard facts ya'll. I'll be 35 in November. Yes, I said it...35! It will be a personal failure for me to hit this number and not have made some progress. My ideal would be to be in a size 18 before that day (November 25th). I have just 95 days! Just to give you an idea (although you may be confused like me), I tried on some jeans today and um...various sizes seemed to fit. First, I put on a pair of 22s and they were a little snug, but zipped up ok. I could probably lose 5 lbs and they would fit nicely. But then I tried on a pair of 26s! And they fit like a glove! Yeah...I was confused too! I didn't even know I had a pair of 26s in my closet! Now, these jeans are different brands, so that may be part of the problem. The jeans that I wear every day are those weird Lane Bryant jeans that are sized by colors and numbers. I'm wearing a Yellow 4 and they absolutely FALL OFF! I have to wear a belt with them. If I were to lose ten lbs, they'd be WAY too big. So I guess I should just settle somewhere in the middle, on a standard size and say that right now, I'm wearing a 22-24 (which is what most of my dress pants are) and leave it at that. So, getting down to a size 18 in 95 days is reasonable, right? I think so. I haven't been an 18 since like the year 1998, 12 years ago! It'd be awesome to shop on regular racks and buy a nice outfit for my birthday in a size out of the 20's! And guys...baby steps aint gonna cut it! I've got to make some decisions about what I want and how I'm going to get it, and for heaven's sake, FOLLOW THROUGH! One day at a time.

So, tomorrow my plan is to do just what I said above. Get up early, walk a half mile to a mile, come in, do some work with my 5 lb. hand weights, do some ab work, eat a good, healthy breakfast, shower, get dressed, plan out healthy meals for lunch and dinner, and get on with my day with pride.

I'll let you know how I do!

ps....prayers are appreciated!!! Love ya'll!

16 Months to Hawaii!

Hey guys! I'm still here! I haven't even been on this blog in over a month and was sad to find that my cute pink and black blog template from "The Cutest Blog on the Block" had disappeared. SAD! I just do not feel like, nor do I have the energy to design another, so the plain template will just have to do for a while. Oh well....

So on to an update for you. I'm down about 5 lbs and have remained there pretty effortlessly for many weeks now. Again, not sure what I've done differently, but I'm not complaining. My sweet dad came for a visit this weekend and FINALLY hooked up the ice maker and water dispenser on my side by side fridge! Just having ice and cold water has been so nice and has encouraged me to drink MORE of it! That's got to be a good thing and will definitely contribute to my weight loss efforts.

My business, SendOutCards is saving my life in so many ways! I really just need to do a whole blog post on just how, but the best and most fulfilling reason is that I never knew how much sending cards and actually giving of myself on a daily basis would do for my sense of self worth ("...for it is better to give than to receive."). I believe that it's incredibly important that if someone comes to my mind, that it's a real tragedy if I don't reach out to them. I've always believed this, but now that I have this card sending system it's just too easy not to follow through with those promptings. And if ya'll know anything about me from reading this blog, following through is one of my struggles. I can't put into adequate words how it feels to be able to follow through 98% of the time! It feels INCREDIBLE!!!! Not only do I feel good, but I'm BUSY. That in and of itself has been a blessing. I've made it a goal to meet new people (I am a networker after all). This of course gets me out of the house and gives me a reason to shower, dress, put on some make-up, do my hair, etc. I've also joined a networking group. The president of the group really went out of his way to help me connect with a stay at home mom who agreed to watch my daughter for an hour and half every Tuesday morning so that I could attend. So, this has been REALLY fun! I get to talk to adults and be professional...something this sahmbie has missed quite a bit.

So guys, I'm feeling pretty positive and things are looking up!


So on to the title of this post....

Mine and my hubby's 15 year anniversary is in 16 months and 14 days! (wow, time flies!)
My dream would be to spend that milestone anniversary in Hawaii! Doesn't that sound amazing?! It would be a big deal for us and seems like a pretty lofty goal.

#1. It's a VERY expensive trip! An extavagance that a family living on one modest income doesn't usually think about indulging in. But I figure that surely we could save up a couple thousand dollars in 16 months. There are always deals out there, my job would be to just keep an eye out for them in the meantime.

#2. I just WILL NOT show up in Hawaii at 280 lbs! I want to be able to enjoy myself in paradise without constantly tugging at my large, 3x shirt feeling like a big ol' whale and being self conscious the whole time! I've spent too many great vacations on beautiful beaches feeling miserable. So sad and such a waste. So, I was thinking that if the trip would be in 16 months, it would give me plenty of time to get in shape and beach ready....the right way! One of my big fears is losing a lot of weight really fast and then having all that sagging skin. If it took me the whole 16 months, surely I would avoid that...right? Have any of you ever lost weight over a long period of time? In what condition was your skin after you reached your goal? Do you have any advice for keeping it taught? It's something I've always wondered about. With that said, I know weight lifting will be important to build up my muscles so that the skin won't sag quite as much (this kind of grosses me out to talk about).
Anyway...just trying to read up right now on a good exercise and diet plan for slow, long term weight loss. Still, my favorite story (and an example of a GREAT BOD after slow weight loss) is Chantel Hobb's Never Say Diet. I encourage everyone I talk to to read it! I may just have to go back and reread it myself! I mean, I DO want to look hot in a bathing suit. But you know, it's been so long that even saying that seems so OUT THERE! But I have to believe it's possible.

INSPIRATION!

Teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini! Only in my dreams...but who knows?

The one piece...more my style!